Silly Saturday – Careful How You Comment

Bloggers love to recieve comments; especially ones that go like this…

Terrific post, I would really like to go there, your photographs are fantastic. ps. I have just downloaded your latest novel.

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But comments can go horribly wrong, especially if you decide to check your social media on your smart phone, on a bus stopping and starting in traffic or on the back of a motorbike. I often do the former, haven’t tried the latter. The combination of predictive texting and hitting the wrong letters can lead to disaster.

Hollow Join i rea11y lived your block. i wouldlove to sieve thatport of rhe wwwwwwwwwwwwwprlf. i hive donwlodads you’re knew book and will rewrite my will.

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Here is a handy guide to commenting on your favourite bloggers. First make sure you are sitting comfortably and unlikely to be disturbed,  otherwise you could end up writing ‘Coffee please’ -‘Don’t forget to get bread’ – ‘I’ll be finished in half an hour’ or ‘Who was that at the door?’

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There are just four standard comments you will need.

Beautiful pictures, thanks for the wonderful tour. – Use for anything from blogger’s own garden to The Great Lakes.

You’re so right, if only everyone saw things the same way. – Use for opinions expressed on everything from Brexit to Climate Change.

Fantastic book review, sounds like a great series. – Use when someone else’s novel is being reviewed.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review, Reblogged…  – Use in the unlikely event that it is your book being reviewed.

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What is the strangest place you have followed social media from?

 

 

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Getting Out

One Saturday morning at 7am I got up and looked out of the bedroom window to see our next door neighbours standing across the road in their dressing gowns. I then noticed a fire engine standing outside their house. We had slept through the fire and the arrival of the fire brigade. A fire in their loft had prompted the hasty exit of three generations.

I sent Cyberspouse down in his dressing gown to bring them into our house, while I put some clothes and the kettle on. Over the next couple  of hours, other branches of the family, who luckily lived close, arrived and we chatted more to all of them than we had since we lived there.

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Fortunately ‘getting out of the house’ for most of us, most of the time is less dramatic, usually accompanied by cries of ‘Are you ready yet?’ I wonder why it’s so hard to get out of the house in time. I always end up rushing. If you were told you had five minutes to leave the house, leave the house forever because of imminent war or natural disaster, would you be ready, could you decide what to take? It takes me longer than that to get ready to go to the shops.

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It is a wonder that anybody ever gets to work or school. Here is a handy list of items you need before you set off from home; delete those not currently applicable.

Door keys, car keys, keys for bike lock, watch, ID for work, bus pass /season ticket, lunch box, homework /briefcase, bottle of water, reusable coffee cup, mobile phone, phone charger, tablet – electronic, tablets – medicinal, inhaler, reading glasses, sun glasses, shopping list, shopping bags,  book/kindle to read on the bus /in the canteen, coat, umbrella, PE kit/gym kit, dog, children, baby. If you are a writer add pens and note book.

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If you are a citizen of the the USA and believe in the right to bear arms you may have even more to remember. When Team G were coming back from Las Vegas for their visit I asked them to bring some magazines – think craft, gardening, cooking, lifestyle, culture – What I got was ‘Guns & Ammo’, I turned the first page to see this handy advertisement..

You say it to yourself every time you leave the house ‘Phone. Keys. Watch. Wallet. SCCY.’ You’re not fully dressed unless you’re carrying concealed.

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I would be even slower getting out of the house if I had to remember my firearm.

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Perhaps this one would fit in my handbag.

But even if you’re sure you have everything and your easy to conceal gun is loaded, it’s not easy to leave the house. Did you put the bin out for the dustmen, are all the doors locked, lights, gas turned off, toilets flushed, dog in, cat out, goldfish fed, plants watered. Interior doors closed in case fire rips through the house, burglar alarm set. We don’t have a burglar alarm, but I’m sure that would add more minutes and stress to getting out the door.

And as you finally close the front door and turn round to look at your home you realise there’s a window wide open upstairs. There’s  a big black cloud looming and you haven’t got your umbrella, but that’s okay, because as you re-enter the house you realise the baby is still in the high chair, so the cat must be in the pram.

Silly Saturday – Bloctober

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If you need encouragement writing your blogs, why not join in Bloctober, post a blog every day; there are still 27 days of October left.

Or how about Bloctet. Post eight blogs a day during October, they don’t have to be long…

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Baz over at Baz the Bad Blogger has started Octoblog; it’s easy to join in any time, just post a blog of only eight words. I’m sure you can do better than Baz, here’s his first effort.

I read your blog, please buy my book.

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If you can’t manage that there is Microtober; flash fiction of eighty words or less.

Octumnal is an on-line magazine looking for leaves and sheaves of words falling onto a digital forest floor…

What will you be posting this month?

Friday Flash Fiction – 202 – Invitation

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Next Wednesday? Oh I’ll have to check the calendar when I get home.

Yes I know you can have a calendar on your phone, but I prefer a calendar on the wall.

So what exactly is the show?

Songs from the musicals with your ‘Naughty Noughties Drama Group’… where?

Oh I don’t think my bus goes anywhere near there.

A lift, oh I wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble.

But you’ll want to get there early…

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Wednesday, Wednesday… hmm I’ve just remembered Geoffrey is having his procedure that afternoon, general anaesthetic, has to have a responsible adult with him for 24 hours.

His sister? No Geoff would never forgive me if I landed him with her all evening.

Annabelle? No she’s late shift, we hardly see her these days.

Thursday, Friday… oh I thought it was only one night, you must be expecting a good turnout.

Empty seats every night, well there’s still plenty of time, no, not really Geoffrey’s scene, he… well both of us, aren’t really into musicals… we’re hoping to go to the Assembly Rooms next month, if the procedure goes well; Purcell and William Byrd, more our scene…

No they weren’t on Britain’s got Talent…

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How to take a blogging holiday.

If you are reading this today I am away and having a blogging holiday. If you are not reading this I haven’t scheduled a blog for today.

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Writers getting ready to go on holiday are extra busy as they try to finish their novel or have to go on the radio to be interviewed about how they manage to write a book a year, as well as being a business consultant and having six home schooled children…

Most of us only aspire to getting a blog or 20 scheduled as we cram notebooks and laptops into our suitcase. Don’t worry if you run out of time, other bloggers take blogging breaks and while you are away you are  bound to get fresh inspiration.

We are going north to a town with literary fame, but you will have to wait till next week to find out where. It is also our first attempt at airb&b.

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Silly Saturday – The Past Unblogged

It’s a tragedy, so many years wasted, so many years of our lives unblogged and the more decades you have put in on this planet, the greater the loss. Interesting events could have been shared legibly with the world instead of scribbled on an aerogramme to a few family and friends.

For those who haven’t been to a post office museum, an aerogramme bore little resemblance to Instagram, but in its own humble way was very convenient. A foldable gummed piece of blue paper bought from the post office; the idea being to write in large neat script at the top, then realise you had plenty yet to say and pack the words in tighter. By the time you turned over to the fourth and last panel you were reduced to illegible scribble with hardly room to sign your name. Then stick it down and post in a letter box. Perhaps there are attics full of these flimsy blue papers, full of family history across the seas…

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On holiday people could send picture post cards and still can, but they would not be in the picture… how many miles of travel unrecorded on Facebook, Instagram and blogs? Travellers had to wait till they got back to their hotel or tent to try and write to their loved ones, more likely no one would know where they had been until they had returned and who would believe they had been at the top of that mountain or canoed round those tropical islands without proof?

If you could go back in time and blog about your life which times would you reveal? A worse thought; if your parents had been blessed with the internet would they have been writing funny blogs about your nappy disasters at the swimming pool changing room or your tantrum in the supermarket…

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Friday Flash Fiction – Digital Dialogue – The Interpreter

Local man speaking in the tongue of his forefathers: it’s that time of year again, my annual trip out of town to see the land of my ancestors, earn a bit extra, but mainly have a laugh.

Interpreter: We have lived in this land for many generations, since time began, my grandfather was the village elder.

Local man: Who’s this idiot with the microphone?

Interpreter: We welcome you back to our village, now we have the well you built last year our women do not have to walk miles to collect water.

Local man: Thank goodness I don’t live in this godforsaken village, if only they had a decent pub instead of that hole in the ground which dried up two months ago.

Interpreter: I had fourteen children, only three live, if we could build a clinic other wives would not die in childbirth like mine.

Local man: These ridiculous clothes are so uncomfortable, the villagers will be glad to get back into their denims. Wonder what the missus is doing, how come she always gets out of this, probably having her nails done.

Interpreter: It is too far for the children to walk to school.

Local man: The village children have all got the day off school, hoping to get some freebies if they smile for the cameramen.

Interpreter: We send greetings to our dear friends in Great Britain.

Local man: Must remember to Skype my cousin in Slough, remind him to watch Celebrity Pose Day, see what he thinks of my performance, wonder how much I’ll ‘raise’ this year?

Interpreter: Many blessings on your families for your help.

 

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Dropping In

Bloggers just wanna have fun.

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With so many good blogs and not enough time to read them all, sometimes, maybe all the time, we like to drop in to blogs that make us laugh or don’t require much mental effort.

When I looked at how many bloggers I followed, the number was 748! I don’t feel as if I know them all… in fact I’m pretty certain I don’t regularly see posts from all those bloggers. I do have a variety of favourite bloggers, but here are just a few who post regular or occasional blogs where I can just drop in, know what to expect and have fun.

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Joan Hall has just started this series, Mystery Monday, featuring famous mysteries that remain unsolved. We all like a mystery; perhaps you know the answers, or can join in the discussion as to what might have happened. This week it was the tragic loss of the famous aviation pioneer.

https://joanhall.blog/2019/09/09/amelia-earhart/

Jaye and Anita share posts from other bloggers and write poetry and book reviews, but on Monday there are no words. Macro Monday brings you one amazing photograph each week.

https://jenanita01.com/2019/09/09/macromonday-63/

Travel the easy way. When Fozzie Bear took Brian Fagan on a cultural trip to Europe, Fozzie made sure he got in all the photos.

https://acrackinthepavement.com/2019/09/08/fozzie-loves-the-cologne-cathedral/

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It seems I am not the only one who loves photographing doors. Rowena in Australia calls one of her regular blogs Thursday Doors.

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/35828219/posts/61136

 

Stevie Turner knows we’re all busy so if you want to share your blog  you can just leave a link and run off. Of course you might have time to stay and see what other bloggers are sharing…

https://steviet3.wordpress.com/2019/09/06/friday-click-run-6th-september/

Jill Dennison writes in depth blogs from politics to music, but on Saturday it’s time to have fun with Saturday Surprise and you never know what you might see. Pictures of cute animals, strange people and jokes… and… well see for yourself.

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/15107025/posts/54381

And it’s the end of the week, Sunday and I look forward to Kim’s three quick questions, wondering what she will come up with each week. Can you answer without thinking too hard?

https://itrippedoverastone.com/2019/09/08/what-about-you-sunday-quick-questions-30/

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There are some bloggers I started following because I loved the names. Biff Sock Pow writes brilliantly about having nothing to write about… with great cartoons as well. Who could resist a blog entitled – ‘A Feeling Of Listlessness – or – Blogging On Empty.’

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/32671356/posts/9464

The Bluebird of Bitterness has plenty of jokes and cartoons. You can also join in the Friday Happy Dance or enjoy more music as the birthdays of great composers are celebrated.

https://bluebirdofbitterness.com/2019/09/05/reptile-dysfunction-4/

If you want to rest your brain at the weekend visit Silly Saturday here at Tidalscribe.