Silly Saturday – Boring Blog

Lots of bloggers at this time of year, especially those enjoying summer in the northern hemisphere, are having a blogging break while they are on holiday or finishing their novel. This is an excellent idea if you are popular enough to carry it off; no one will forget you and will be all the more pleased to see you when you return. It is also good news for their followers; there are too many good blogs and not enough hours in the day to read them, so a break is needed.

Other bloggers might worry that everyone will have forgotten them by the time they post again… don’t worry, nobody noticed you had disappeared in the first place.

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There is an alternative for bloggers who can’t bring themselves to have a couple of weeks off; write blogs that are so boring nobody will want to read them anyway, so your readers will have a rest. But what is the most boring thing you could write about?

Perhaps shopping; how inane is shopping compared to all the dramas in the world? If you are lucky you might have a lively street market on your doorstep, or local shops where you will meet real people, pop in the library and idle in a coffee shop.

But the dreariest way to fill a couple of hours is to do a weekly shop or big stock up with your other half at a Superstore. As you arrive at the car park you reach the nadir of your relationship. If it’s a quiet day the driver ( let’s call him a husband for convenience ) will drive all round the car park, ignoring swathes of empty spaces in favour of nearly knocking over harassed mothers or elderly persons pushing their trolleys. He will then hold up other drivers trying to leave as he manoeuvres into a tight space. All this time you are berating him for not parking in the line of empty spaces where you came in. If the car park is full you will crawl round in a queue of drivers admitting defeat and trying to get out, or hoping they can sneak into a space when a shopper leaves. This is the nadir of first world life, the invention of the internal combustion engine was for this?

Inside the store you are confronted with twenty different varieties of everything and yet you cannot find your favourite Taste The Difference Chunky Fish Fingers or Sea Breeze flavoured floor cleaner. As you plod round the aisles children are whining and couples are having the dullest conversation – what shall we have for dinner.

Finally at the till, some of us have invented a packing procedure so complex we are filled with incandescent rage if anyone else interferes; this is what your life has come to. On the till may be a person so bored and boring you lose the will to live. Or you are greeted enthusiastically by an assistant desperately trying not to be replaced by modern technology.

‘Hello, how are you today?’

Do they want a list of your ailments? They quickly start scanning before you can answer. But when they finally announce the total money due they utter those words you dread.

‘Doing anything interesting at the weekend?’

Your life is exposed in all its nihilistic bleakness…

Have you taken a blogging break or decided you need one after reading this?

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22 thoughts on “Silly Saturday – Boring Blog

  1. I’m a fan of Sea Breeze floor cleaner. I think the word is ‘scented’, not ‘flavoured’ though. Unless you’ve been drinking it. If you’re finding it’s not very effective on the floors, that may be why 😂
    I really like this idea. I was contemplating a break a little while ago but I get filled with anxiety and guilt if I don’t try to keep up with posts from other bloggers, so my own blog always falls behind anyway. I doubt anyone would notice if I toddle off for a while from my own site. I do need a little break soon though as I’ve got a possible surgery date. I’ll have to schedule some day-in-my life posts where I talk about how irate I get when I’ve run out of kitchen rolls but they’re not on offer in the supermarket and other exciting tales to really enthral readers so they’ll be begging me to take a break! Brilliant idea! 😉
    Caz xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Caz, yes I probably need a break from blogging if I’m drinking the floor cleaner. When I first discovered that we could actually schedule blogs I got rather carried away and thought that meant we must blog 53 weeks a year. Now I realise people do take breaks. When Cyberson 2 was at school he said that when he was grown up he was not going to get special offers from Sainsburys all the time – he ended up working at Sainsburys and giving us anything on special offer for our birthdays!
      I look forward to the next episode of paper towels.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You nailed it, Janet. “Don’t worry, nobody noticed you left in the first place.” That one had me laughing. Taking a break on occasion seems like a natural move because of the pure volume of material to read. My thoughts turned to Facebook when I was reading your post. Sometimes I just feel the need to take a break. When I return, I know there will still be people posting pictures of their pancakes. Ha-ha! Thanks for the laughs.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I have spurts of posting stuff and then drift away for a week or so. It ebbs and flows. 🙂 … I tried to set a ‘schedule’ several times in the beginning but deadlines and I don’t dance very well together.
    My favourite response to the checkout person’s questions is, “I’m not dead, so it’s a good day. How about you?” That tends to floor them. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “Break”? “Holiday”? What are those strange words you speak? My last holiday … um … I remember it well … October 2008 … three days spent in Gatlinburg in the Smoky Mountains! Only … eleven years ago! Seems like only yesterday! With 5 moggies with various disabilities, holidays are out of the question, so I will just keep staying on top of the news, and blogging. Can’t write about shopping, for I hate shopping, unless it’s in a book shop! Enjoy your holiday!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. This was funny, a good read 🙂 No I’ve never had a blogging break, I’m one of those who daren’t in case I lose readers, but half know that they wouldn’t miss me anyway 🤣 I would love to start a book though 🙂 Have a great holiday

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Now that I’m running my weekly photo challenge, I can’t really take a long break, but writing a weekly post when I’m busy is doable! Breaks are important like you say, for finding more inspiration. When I have taken a 1-2 week break lately, I’ve had other bloggers take over the photo challenge for me. It’s a great alternative. Hope you have a good break when you are ready!

    Liked by 2 people

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